Understanding Love
how strange is it to say the words “I loved you”, as if it were an emotion that can be forgotten in the past. no one can ever simply forget love, one cannot simply stop loving someone. you can pine for love, you can die from love, you can hate your love, kill for love, burst, bloom and live in complete joy in love. but you cannot love, and stop, there is no beginning and end for love. when you truely completely fall, you never stop. and you can go years and lifetimes, convincing yourself that you do not love a person but then when you least expect it, in the moments when you stare into space you feel a breathless drop in the pit of your stomach, as if you had just awoken from a dream right before you hit the ground. you realize you still think of them almost moment to moment, and compare the blue of the sky to how clear their eyes and you think they would really enjoy the song playing on the radio. when you hear a funny joke you look over your shoulder to see if they are laughing too, but they are not there. and they never will be again. cause once love becomes bitter and estranged it is rare for human pride to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and try to repair our lost love, because we could never admit our own faults flaws and mistakes. not even, unfortunately if it meant being in love with someone that could possibly love you back. which is a miracle in and of itself in this sad dark cruel world. but the truth, as the poet says the honest to gods truth, is we love but a few times, once… maybe twice if we are very lucky and we usually end up messing it up somehow but another gods honest truth is you will never ever get over it. you will never stop loving someone, you will never forget, or forgive. love is so very very worth it. it has so far driven me to the brink of ecstasy and the brink of literal death, all for love. you never truely live unless you have loved. unless you have lost love you have never truely died. and I would do it all over again.
